the death channel
If someone said that you could fill all of your daytime programming with nationwide coverage of police chases, murder scenes, and devastating catastrophes - all live - you'd tell them there's no way. You'd tell that there's no way that there's that much happening that's newsworthy that you could fill 8 hrs a day every day.
You'd be wrong.
The guy across the hall usually has his TV tuned into one of the major news networks (three letters, starts with a C) and every day when I walk past his door there's a "breaking news" flash at the bottom - usually with a helicopter shot of the scene. Today it's a large RV parked on the side of some highway. The words at the bottom mention a family found shot, dead.
Of course they covered the Amish school shooting and Corey Lidle's plane crash which were both pretty big in the scheme of things. But they manage to scour the local networks and find something every single day to report on. The coverage by the way, is worse than a shopping network. They just find different ways of reporting the same 5 facts over and over and over again. Then they find an expert to discuss those 5 facts. Then they have a press conference to officially release the 5 facts. I could produce programming there no problem. I have the formula.
The guy across the hall is a former New Yorker and his TV was the only one in operation on 9/11. No cable, just an antenna until we could hook up the dish an hour later. I have a feeling he hasn't changed the channel since.
Fellas
There's this homeless guy that sleeps on a grate outside a chinese dry cleaner near my parking garage. He's not your typical homeless person in that he's really skinny, fairly young and always wears different clothes. I know that 'lifestyle' ages you so with that I am guessing he's in his late 20s. He's not that dirty from what I can tell. His hair is super super short. He doesn't talk to himself - so far as I know, since he's always asleep.
He sleeps on one of those grates with the mysterious hot steam rising out of it. It always amazes me that people can sleep like that. I know what you're saying, he's homeless, where's he supposed to sleep? Besides, it's warm. But seriously, how can people just sleep on the sidewalk/lumpy grate like that? I can't even sleep on the beach! A few times I've gone past and I honestly thought he was dead - that's HOW asleep he was. No blanket, no 'pillow', just on his back, mouth open slightly, sound a fucking sleep. No evidence of his slumber being induced by alcohol. So if it is, he's tidy too.
Yes, I admit, I just kept going on those days when I thought he was a corpse.
One day when Eve and I walked by one morning, he had a friend. The friend was a clone of him, they were sharing the grate, sitting up, wide awake. They both said good morning as we passed and said something about the weather. His friend was asleep on another grate half a block up a week or so later - I suppose in the hobo version of a guest room.
I am not the sort to talk to strangers... usually... and in this case someone I see almost daily is hardly a stranger. But I am dying to know why he's homeless and where he gets all these changes of clothing... I really doubt I'm going to ask him though.
Not that you care
So I have an enormous headache - I think it's allergy related. Or maybe I'm dehydrated? I am also starving - even though I had the last slice of last night's pizza for breakfast.
The Iggles play tonight and I admit I am a bit nervous. Eve and I have plans to go out to watch the game and a very large part of me just wants to stay home and cheer from the sofa. Of course by doing that you lose out on the collective experience of watching it with a ton of strangers. Oh, and paying way too much for beer.
The baseball playoffs start tomorrow night. The hometown fav - the Phils - were eliminated on Saturday. I admit that I expected that. It was too little too late for them and all their hopes and dreams relied on someone else losing. Actually on two someone elses losing. I'd much rather not make it than get our asses beat in a first round sweep anyway. Better luck next year.
The Yanks however are on top of the american league with home field advantage thru the playoffs. Very exciting. You'll find me at home on Tuesday night watching that game.
And now I don't smell like an ashtray!
So Philadelphia finally went and did it. After years of trying to find a way to force people to live slightly more healthy lives, they finally passed a smoking ban.
The city council approved it at the beginning of the summer. The mayor signed off at the end of the summer.
Just to be sure that no one holds it against him personally - he made sure to put in his two cents about the author who just so happened to resign from his post and run for mayor himself. That fella was supposed to write in stipulations like if you don't serve food you can apply for a waiver, etc. Which really could have been done by anyone. "Don't blame me if your freedoms have been squished!" he might have said. "Now you can't base your vote on the smoking ban MWAH HAHAHA!" he was probably thinking.
So then was the big WHEN? when does it start, how do I apply for a waiver. Immed. followed by cries of "if I can't smoke then I'm not going to the bar!" Because you know - the main reason people go to a bar is to smoke - they can drink and socialize in the privacy of their own rowhome. To truly enjoy that smoldering stinking stick of chemicals you HAVE to go to a bar. Rumor had it that the rule would start on New Years Day (quite possibly the biggest philadelphia party day tying only the two sundays where the iggles play the cowpokes).
and then WHAM! On saturday they announced it would start Monday! WHAM! Enjoy it now suckers! I was out on Sunday and it was like everyone was smoking more because they knew it was the last time.
I went out a few times this week to suck up the baseball package at the local bar and so far as I can tell no one stopped going to the bar. They really didn't even go outside to smoke. They just *gasp* didn't smoke.
Can't wait til Winter...
confession
Scene: Darkened booth. A woman sits down with a heavy sigh. The sound of wood sliding on wood is accompanied by the exposing of a lattice screen connecting the other side of the booth.
"Bless me father for I have sinned..."
"yes my child, how long has it been?"
"since what?"
"your last confession"
"oh, I'm not Catholic."
"excuse me?"
"I'm not catholic, I just thought this was a good idea and I've seen it in so many movies that "
interupting *sigh* "right right well," without feeling "we are all god's children..."
"right - ok - well this is tough - I haven't blogged in exactly a month"
"wow"
"yeah right I know - this is huge."
"well, I, um..."
"I've been really busy you know what with preseason and the gay softball thing..."
"right, right - HEY!"
"yeah?"
"what about preseason?"
"well, I work for the league that has preseason games every August, and I'm crazy busy at that time, working 12 hr days, constantly"
interrupting - "wow, you do? can you get me tickets?"
*sigh*
Women exits the confessional. A voice is heard from inside the booth
"So, do you know number 5!?!?"
Woman heads to the nearest Irish bar for some REAL inspiration...
Smoking In The Litter Box
On Friday night, Eve and I found ourselves at the local sports bar watching the iggles game. I noticed this woman who kep t approaching the bar to smoke (even though it is permitted throughout the restaurant). In truth she was there to flirt with a guy seated at the bar. What I noticed most of all however was that 1) she seemed just barely old enough to be there and 2) had no idea how to smoke. She apparently went to the ADD school of smoking, constantly tapping the ash into an ashtray. Her long drags were not inhaled, instead she exhaled very quickly. She managed to get through a cigarette in about 3 minutes without actually smoking it. With the price of a pack today, why bother? She didn't look any cooler than her group of early 20s girls trolling the sportsbar looking for a man. Actually, she looked quite pathetic. I wanted to shake her and say "want to meet s guy at a sports bar? At least PRETEND to like sports!!"
But I digress, as a non-smoker, am 100% for the smoking ban in public places - but even I can draw the line somewhere.
Smoke's no joke for Tom and Jerry - BBC online August 22, 2006Children's TV channel Boomerang is to edit scenes from Tom and Jerry cartoons where characters are shown smoking. The move follows an investigation by media watchdog Ofcom into a viewer's complaint that the vintage animations were not appropriate for young viewers. [do you really think someone complained? I think they made this up. I want to know what busy body took the time to call in. I also want to know if ONE person complains, do they quickly jump up to represent them?]
The watchdog recognised the "historic" cartoons were made at a time "when smoking was more generally accepted". However, Boomerang will only edit those cartoons where smoking appears to be "condoned, acceptable or glamorised". [um, isn't that all of them? I guess if the cigarette explodes it's ok to keep it in]
Two such cartoons include Texas Tom from 1950 and Tennis Chumps from 1949.
In the former Tom is shown trying to impress a female cat by rolling a cigarette, lighting it and smoking it with one hand. [which by the way, is a fantastic scene! Tom also croons to the female cat cowboy style. Well, he lipsyncs but it's still great.]
In the latter, Tom's tennis opponent is seen smoking a large cigar.
"We note that in Tom and Jerry smoking usually appears in a stylised manner," said Ofcom.
However, it said that "the level of editorial justification required for the inclusion of smoking in such cartoons is necessarily high". [how about turning the cartoons into education? You can talk about how images like this one
were perfectly acceptable ways of portraying africans and african americans during this period in history. Smoking was not only condoned at this time, it was encouraged. Doctors recommended it and the Flintstone were featured in advertisements for a cigarette compny. Blah Blah Blah]
"Depictions of smoking may not be problematic given the context," it continued. "But broadcasters need to make a judgement about the extent to which a particular scene may or may not genuinely influence children." [I have to wonder - how many people started smoking because they saw Tom do it on tv? Why aren't they equally concerned about the excessive violence? There's multiple occasions where Tom attempts to kill Jerry with a shotgun. I guess that's ok though because that's what cats and mice do.]
Tom and Jerry is my favorite cartoon. It has a lot to offer by way of the social and economic history of the united states. So don't get your panties in a bunch over smoking. Besides, cats are too smart to smoke.
Swank
Hilary Swank is on the cover of the newest issue of Vanity Fair magazine. I was pretty upset until I realized that I also had a new issue of Rachel Ray's new mag in my mailbox. Thank God. It would have ruined an otherwise perfect weekend.
